Oktoberfest is a 16-day festival celebrating beer held annually in Munich, Bavaria, Germany, running from late September to the first weekend in October. Even though the “official” Oktoberfest celebration might be over, we’re pretty sure that with a name like “Oktoberfest” it’s entirely reasonable to celebrate for the entire month of October. For that reason, here’s a list of four things that you should definitely NOT do to celebrate this month of German booze.
- Drink any kind of beer other than Oktoberfest Beer
Dude, it’s tradition! Who are you to argue? You can’t drink the normal stuff in October, that’s sacrilege! In fact, you should really try every kind of Oktoberfest beer that you can find. It’s cultural research! You could probably use your data on different Oktoberfest Beers for some kind of paper!
- Wear Lederhosen
Yeah, that whole tradition thing? Keep it for the beer. No one actually wears lederhosen anymore. If they do, they’re probably a) actually from Bavaria, and b) dressed up for a special event. In other world, it’s a costume. You probably already have other costume plans for Halloween.
- Give a speech in a language you think might be German
They say that you always speak foreign languages better when drunk, but your year of high school German probably didn’t prepare you to stand on a table and wax eloquent about beer, October, German traditions, German beer, lederhosen, and anything else that strikes you as inspirational after your sixth pint. If you’re going to stand on a table and make a speech while drunk, it should probably be in English.
- Grope a barmaid
She might be wearing a cute dirndl, and that cleavage may look luscious, but if she’s capable of carrying multiple pint glasses in one hand (which to be serving during Oktoberfest she almost certainly is), then she probably also has a mean right hook. Pretty barmaids who could kick your ass? Also a German tradition.
While there are probably other things that you shouldn’t do to celebrate Oktoberfest, this list covers the biggies. For the others…well…go out and discover them!