Build the Ultimate Beer Pong Table

You realize that you have to be back at college in just a few short weeks, right? You want to have the most awesome party house on campus this year, right? Well, we have three words for you that can make it happen: Beer Pong Table. You need one. And not just any beer pong table, because the guy who lives two buildings over already bought or made his own boring beer pong table. You need the Ultimate Beer Pong Table. And we’re going to tell you how to get it.

Get the right start: We love all kinds of beer pong tables, we really do. But if your goal is to have the most awesome beer pong spot on campus, you have to go classy. Start with a wood beer pong table and get a bonus 100 Classiness Points. Think “I don’t always play beer pong, but when I do I play it on a premium wood beer pong table with a water-proof sealant coating”.

Get the girl: Have you heard that we’re partnered with Playboy to put hot girls on every inch of your beer pong table? Well, now you know. There is nothing more distracting to your beer pong opponent (other than the increasing intoxication) than trying to focus on cups that are sitting just beyond the half-covered bosom of a Playmate. There are dozens of images to choose from and you really can’t go wrong. You’re combining sexy ladies, beer, and competition all on one table here!

Get upgraded: Don’t stop now, you’re almost at maximum awesomeness. What if we told you that you can combine sexy ladies, beer, competition, and music all into one amazing table? Mind blown? Scoop your jaw up off the floor and let’s talk about beer pong tables with built in speakers. You can add speakers to any table for less than $50! Yes, you COULD zip-tie some computer speakers to the table legs, but remember we’re building the Ultimate Beer Pong Table here. Zip ties are not classy.

Get stability: Finally, you’re so close to the Ultimate Beer Pong Table. Take it to the next level with cup placement holes pre-drilled! Unless you’re someone who really believes in the fun of spilling beer everywhere on every other turn, cup holes are the way to go. Keep the game organized and your floor clean at the same time.

There you have it: the Ultimate Beer Pong Table. It’s classy, it’s sexy, it’s musically talented and it will keep holding your beer for you even after you throw things at it all night.

Sexy Party Games

Not quite the Twister you remember

Sure, sometimes it’s great to party with just your friends. Who wouldn’t want to spend a night of unfiltered trash-talking and divulging embarrassing details? Nonetheless, if you’re throwing a party and you’re expecting to encounter some sexy members of the opposite gender, we suggest breaking out a few party games of the adult variety. Here are four games that will be sure to bring you closer to the object of your desire in some way, shape, or form:

1. Underwear Musical Chairs

This game is similar to regular musical chairs, with one important variation: half of your party guests will already be sitting in the chairs, in a circle. When the music starts, the remaining half will walk in a circle; and when the music stops, the people walking will sit down in the lap closest to them. From here, anything goes.

2. Body Oil Twister

Did you know that Twister is more fun–and slightly more dangerous–if you grease up the mat first? The oil will not only add an extra degree of challenge to the game; it will also increase the likelihood that someone sexy will fall on top of you. We suggest challenging your chosen one to a one-on-one match.

3. Shaving Cream Slip ‘n’ Slide

You didn’t hear it from us, but if you use shaving cream you can break out a slip ‘n’ slide right in your hallway, without making (too much of) a mess. The water-free version is still slippery, but much easier to use indoors. And here’s the best part: to maintain the best traction, the girls will still want to be in bikinis.

4. Strip Beer Pong

Come on, did we really think we’d let this go without a mention? Strip beer pong is the ultimate in sexy party games; every time someone misses a shot, they’ll have to remove an article of clothing. You may just end up winning twice.

And hey, if all else fails, you can always find a sexy Playboy beer pong table to keep you entertained!