It’s freaking freezing outside, and the snow is up past your knees. The sensible thing to do would be to stay inside and get drunk normally. I mean sure, you could even have some classic drunk karaoke. But for an intrepid bro like yourself who recognizes the voice of opportunity, there’s only one thing to do: play snow pong!
What is snow pong? We’re so glad you asked! Snow pong is the combination of your most epic beer pong battle in history combined with all your childhood fantasies of building epic snow forts. The steps are simple:
- Call your bros and tell them about the impending epicness. Get them all together and go outside.
- Build yourself a beer pong table/beer cooler out of snow (this is where the epic snow fort fantasy happens—bonus points if you have a major snowball fight while you’re building the table). Make it the same height and dimensions as a regular beer pong table, but hollow out places in the sides to hold your beer cans, so that they’ll be naturally nice and chilly for the game.
- Play pong! You can use the normal rules, or make up extra rules to reflect the fact that you’re outside in the snow. Add a chunk of snow to each cup, make the loser create a drunk snow angel…whatever your drunk creativity wants to do.
- Repeat until you’re all too frozen to continue. Go inside, get warm, and then go do it all over again!
- Send us photos and tell us in the comments about your variations on the game. The more ridiculous the shenanigans, the better!
These simple steps are the essential keys to your winterfest bronanza!
Posted 1 week, 3 days ago at 11:58 am. Add a comment
Nothing is worse than warm beer. But not all beer cooling methods are created equal. Here’s a rundown of the options, so as the weather gets hot you can keep your beer cold and icy.
1. Styrofoam coolers
Pros: the ultimate in portable and disposable. Take it with you to the beach or to the mountains or wherever the hell your road trip will take you, abuse it thoroughly, and know at the end of the day that even if you destroy it, you’ll still have had cold beer and you’ll have only spent a few bucks on the container.
Cons: Styrofoam’s bad for the environment, dude. Get something that costs a couple bucks more that’s reusable.
2. Beer can sleeves
Pros: They keep your individual can of beer cold while you’re drinking it.
Cons: They only work for one can at a time. Also, they mostly look dumb.
Pros: Holds a couple of beer’s worth of booze, designed to go with you wherever you go.
Cons: Everyone needs to bring their own, because one thermos definitely won’t hold enough beer to share. Also, make sure you get one that looks like it actually belongs to an adult and not an elementary-schooler.
Pros: They hold an entire keg! And keep it cold! With science!
Cons: They’re not exactly portable. You can use it for a kickass house party, but you can’t take it on the road.
5. Freezable Beer Pong Coolers
Pros: It’s a rack to help you line up your cups perfectly! It keeps your beer cold while you play! It’s portable! It’s specifically designed for beer pong!
Cons: Is it possible to have cons for anything specifically designed to help your beer pong game go better? There is absolutely nothing wrong with this method of keeping beer cold!
Clearly there are plenty of options for keeping your beer chilly…but only one that will keep your beer cold WHILE YOU PLAY PONG. We have a winner!
Posted 2 weeks, 2 days ago at 12:41 pm. Add a comment
New Year’s Eve 2014 is right around the corner, and so we must queue the nostalgia. We have all been around to witness such global extraordinary events such as the Outkast reunion, Frozen dominating the billboard for 20 weeks straight, and the resurrection of Michael Jackson himself! Or at least his old archived and unreleased music. New Year’s Eve is a special time of year mixed with romance, hope, and new year’s resolutions. But everyone knows that you can’t simply enter into the new year, you’ve gotta ring in the new year with the most craziest, biggest, and alcoholic party imaginable. To that end, here are a few New Year’s Eve drinking games to help get your party going strong.
1. Cheap Champagne Pong.
When in doubt, adapt a classic. Play it the same as beer pong, but use the cheapest champagne you can find instead of beer. It’s the party game you love the most, done New Year’s Eve style! While your at it, impress your bros and girlfriends with the most sickest neon glowing beer pong table to match the New Year’s eve decor.
2. Don’t Say It!
For this game, have a list of words that people can’t say. Make them words appropriate to the occasion that are quite likely to come up in conversation, like “party,” “new year,” “resolution,” etc. Anytime someone says one of the forbidden words, they have to take a drink. This won’t necessarily result in people not saying the forbidden words, but it definitely will result in everyone drinking a little more and a little faster. Which is basically the point.
3. Ball Drop Drinking Game
As midnight approaches, it’s inevitable that people will start to cluster around the TV to watch the ball drop in Times Square. To liven up the experience, take a drink every time one of these things happens on TV.
The news anchor utters any of these phrases:
- “live from Times Square”
- “In [x] minutes, the ball will start to drop
- “people have been camped out here since [whenever]”
- “Performing later tonight will be [x]”
The screen shows any of these shots:
- The ball at any point before the countdown
- A pan of faces of people waiting for midnight
- The empty stage where they keep telling you interesting things will happen
Even if you don’t turn the TV on until ten minutes before midnight actually strikes, there will still be plenty of opportunities to drink!
With this set of games prepped, you’ll be able to throw the best party in the history of 2014 and set 2015 off to a really great start.
Posted 1 month, 1 week ago at 7:51 pm. Add a comment
Party Pong Beer Pong Party
Everyone loves a fantastic party full of beer pong! Everyone wants to go, get drunk, play pong, have a great time, and maybe get laid. Everyone dreams of hosting the biggest, most epic party imaginable.
And then, the next day, when your entire house smells like spilled beer, there are empty cups and beer cans everywhere, you can’t tell what color the floor is, there are three strange people asleep in your bed, and you and all your bros are nursing hangovers…you’re going to hate yourself and everyone who came to the party, because while everyone else gets to stay in bed with their hangovers, you’re the ass who has to clean up.
Relax, bro. It’s not so bad. Here are the best ways to host an epic party at your house and not hate yourself the next day.
- Get a beer pong table that will set you up for success
The days or regular folding tables are over, bro. You will increase your epic-ness and reduce your cleanup woes if you use a dedicated beer pong table with pre-drilled holes to hold your cups. You gain bro points because dude, you actually have your own beer pong table. You gain morning-after points because you’ll have a hell of a lot less beer on the floor. If you really want to up the ante, get a custom table with a playmate emblazoned on the surface, and then get your bros to wipe off the table between games. After all, you can’t be disrespecting that playmate’s luscious boobs!
- Keep it outdoors
Do you have any outdoor space at all? Is the weather even slightly above freezing? Keep your party outdoors as much as possible. You’ll have more space to put people if you have indoor and outdoor action going on, and you’ll have less mess and spilled beer inside the house to deal with the next day. Plus, having most of the party taking place outside reduces the chances that you’ll find random strangers making out in your bed at the end of the night.
- Set up obvious places for your empty beer cans to go
It’s not rocket science, bro. Put out big trash bags in obvious places, and people will figure out that the empty cups and cans go there. People will barely notice during the party—sticking trash in trash bags is kind of automatic—but you’ll notice the next day, when you won’t have nearly as many random plastic cups all over your place.
- Pitchers of water
Yeah, we all know that half the point of a party is to get wasted, but make sure there’s water and other non-boozy stuff for people to drink. Hydration is good, and people are a lot more likely to remember to drink water if it’s out there and obvious. Believe us, everyone will be happier, both during the party and after, if there isn’t vomit in the sink.
- Stock up on your cleaning stuff ahead of time
You know that massive beer and supply run that you make before you host a party? When you get booze, chips and salsa, red solo cups, and whatever else you and your bros want for the big night? Add cleaning supplies to that supply run, and you’ll be a significantly happier person the next day. Think paper towels, extra trash bags, Swiffer stuff, Clorox wipes, a metric ton of febreeze…you get the picture. You might feel like a loser when you’re shopping, but believe us, your hangover will thank you the next day.
So. Now you know the secret to not hating yourself the morning after throwing an enormous party. What the hell are you waiting for bro? Next party’s at your place!
Posted 4 months, 2 weeks ago at 2:53 pm. Add a comment
Romantic beer pong is way better than chocolates and flowers
Most of the time, when people think about romance, they think about wine and chocolate and flowers. Those things are alright, but we all know what’s better: beer! Unfortunately, under normal circumstances, your girlfriend might not agree. Here are the top five ways to make her change her mind.
- Craft beer tastings
If your girlfriend isn’t that crazy about beer, taking her to a craft beer tasting could be just the thing for a romantic day out. Find a brewery in your area and call ahead to make the arrangements, then surprise her with roses and a special tasting to find out exactly which brews she likes.
- Romantic picnic
What could be better than a romantic picnic? A romantic picnic with really nice beer! Try a lambic or similarly fancy import to impress her, and make sure the picnic is full of all her favorite foods. Find a nice spot outdoors, or have a picnic on your living room floor…just be creative and have fun!
- Beer in a champagne bottle
Part of what your girlfriend likes about champagne is that it involves a bit of ceremony: you have the untwisting of the wire, the popping of the cork, the pouring of fresh bubbly into champagne flutes…Nowadays, though, there are fancy beers that come in champagne bottles, meaning that you can have the same amount of pomp and ceremony with something that you actually want to drink.
- Beer brewed with chocolate
We all know that chocolate is one of the main things that women want in life. But did you know that there are actually beers brewed with chocolate? Find one and give it to her, along with a box of actual chocolates, and the beer romance factor goes basically off the charts.
- Beer cocktails
Sometimes, only a fancy cocktail will do. Fortunately, there are beer cocktails that can be classy and romantic, like a Black and Red or a Black Velvet.
Whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day, a birthday, an anniversary, or just a day that your girlfriend really wants to be romantic, you now know five different ways to incorporate your favorite beverage into whatever you do.
Posted 11 months, 2 weeks ago at 11:12 am. Add a comment
If you’re serious about playing beer pong as a sport and not just as a game to get wasted at parties, you’ll want to start looking at ways to improve your performance. Other athletes in other sports think about things like how their shoes affect their performance, and it’s high time that, as legitimate athletes, beer pong players should do the same. Here are some of the things to think about when you’re looking at shoes in which to play beer pong.
If you’re really serious about the game, you probably want to get yourself to a running store and choose your shoes with the same care you’d use in choosing shoes for a marathon. Do your feet tend to pronate your feet, or do you roll them outwards? Which part of your foot absorbs most of the shock when you jump vertically to score that epic point? Investing in good running shoes tells the world that you’re seriously hardcore when it comes to your chosen sport.
Sneakers are great, but sometimes it’s hot out. Sometimes you’re at the beach. Sometimes you just really don’t want to wear sneakers. It’s okay. Sporty sandals are your friends. Pick a pair that you could go hiking in, a pair for running, jumping, and climbing trees. They might not be quite as hardcore as sneakers, but high-tech sandals can still give you that competitive edge.
- Glove shoes
Love them or hate them, the glove shoes with the individually articulated toes do have some distinct advantages when it comes to sports. They give your feet their full range of motion, making it easier to run, jump, and land. You get the au naturel feeling of being barefoot without having to worry about stepping on nails, broken glass, or whatever nastiness is on the floor at 2am during a frat party. The jury is out on how hardcore these toe shoes are, but as long as whatever you wear on your feet comes from a pure place of wanting to be all that you can be at the pong table, that’s hardcore enough for us here.
What are your favorite shoes for playing beer pong? Tell us here!
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 11:19 am. 7 comments
The recent heat waves in California caused a 3 hour power outage last week and got us thinking…what do we do to entertain ourselves if the power goes out??
You can always play beer pong on a Party Pong Table with new Glow Lights. DON’T play pong or any other game involving moving objects by candlelight—the reasons for that should be pretty obvious. But as long as you’ve got a crowd and all the necessary equipment, go for it! It will make a great story to share with your friends who were less well-prepared and spent powerless hours draining their smartphone batteries by obsessively checking the department of water and power’s website. Take photos and earn bragging rights when you finally have Facebook again.
If you’re not fortunate enough to have your Party Pong table nearby when the lights go out, or you lack non-flammable light sources, never fear. There are plenty of games you can play with no light—the best ones are throwbacks to being thirteen at summer camp. Truth or Dare? Truths get racier the more drunk you get, and dares get more ridiculous. Go to a professor’s office hours in your boxers! Ask someone out while standing on your head! Dares can also wait until the power comes back on to execute, which gives you plenty of anticipation points to help you pass the evening. Variations can also include tales of your exploits from ages past—swap stories about the crazy things you did when you actually were thirteen at summer camp, and take a drink every time someone says “camping,” “hot counselor,” “saddle sores,” or “poison ivy.”
If none of those work for you, there’s always the tried-and-true pastime of singing drinking songs. Think beyond “99 Bottles of Beer”—you can turn “Old Mac Donald” into a dirty drinking song if you’re sufficiently creative about it. And the drunker you get, the more inventive your lyrics will be. If you’re not too drunk to hold a pencil, write your songs down for posterity, and do a dramatic reading of them next time you’re sober.
Obviously, this list is not exhaustive. Comment and let us know what you would do if the power goes out!
Posted 1 year, 4 months ago at 5:50 pm. 13 comments
Oktoberfest is a 16-day festival celebrating beer held annually in Munich, Bavaria, Germany, running from late September to the first weekend in October. Even though the “official” Oktoberfest celebration might be over, we’re pretty sure that with a name like “Oktoberfest” it’s entirely reasonable to celebrate for the entire month of October. For that reason, here’s a list of four things that you should definitely NOT do to celebrate this month of German booze.
- Drink any kind of beer other than Oktoberfest Beer
Dude, it’s tradition! Who are you to argue? You can’t drink the normal stuff in October, that’s sacrilege! In fact, you should really try every kind of Oktoberfest beer that you can find. It’s cultural research! You could probably use your data on different Oktoberfest Beers for some kind of paper!
- Wear Lederhosen
Yeah, that whole tradition thing? Keep it for the beer. No one actually wears lederhosen anymore. If they do, they’re probably a) actually from Bavaria, and b) dressed up for a special event. In other world, it’s a costume. You probably already have other costume plans for Halloween.
- Give a speech in a language you think might be German
They say that you always speak foreign languages better when drunk, but your year of high school German probably didn’t prepare you to stand on a table and wax eloquent about beer, October, German traditions, German beer, lederhosen, and anything else that strikes you as inspirational after your sixth pint. If you’re going to stand on a table and make a speech while drunk, it should probably be in English.
- Grope a barmaid
She might be wearing a cute dirndl, and that cleavage may look luscious, but if she’s capable of carrying multiple pint glasses in one hand (which to be serving during Oktoberfest she almost certainly is), then she probably also has a mean right hook. Pretty barmaids who could kick your ass? Also a German tradition.
While there are probably other things that you shouldn’t do to celebrate Oktoberfest, this list covers the biggies. For the others…well…go out and discover them!
Posted 1 year, 5 months ago at 5:48 pm. 16 comments
As Halloween approaches, you’ll want to make your parties Halloween themed without succumbing to cheesy trick-or-treat type gimmicks. One solution? Take your classic beer pong and turn it into pumpkin pong. This is a labor-intensive adaptation of the game, so you’ll want to give yourself plenty of time and maybe enlist a friend or two to help.
You’ll need a minimum of 20 small pumpkins, one for each of the cups you would normally use for a regular game. Given that things can get knocked over, and in the presence of drunk people accidents are likely, you’ll probably want to have at least 5 extra pumpkins on hand. Maybe more, if your friends are klutzes.
Take however many pumpkins you’ve decided on using, cut off the tops, and scoop out the insides like you’re making a jack-o-lantern. If you’re really ambitious, you can save and roast the seeds to snack on during the party. Once the pumpkin innards are clean, keep the pumpkin shells in the refrigerator until they’re ready to be used.
When gametime comes, set up the hollowed-out pumpkins and fill them with beer, just like you would for a normal tournament, and play just like you normally would. Once you’re finished, feast on roasted pumpkin seeds and Halloween candy, and congratulate yourself and your friends on giving your favorite holiday from when you were five a truly grown-up twist.
Posted 2 years, 2 months ago at 5:49 pm. Add a comment
It’s about time you F yourself up with some knowledge
It’s time for another version of Beer in the News, where we find you all the latest beer and pong-related items and tidbits! Plus, Beer in the News give us an excuse to say “tidbits.” Without further delay, here are the latest happenings in the world of beer and beer pong:
Pong Beer, a beer made specifically for beer pong, is now available in 15 states: What makes this beer so great for beer pong? Well, its biggest selling point seems to be the price; a 30-pack runs for $17. At that price, you’ll have enough money left over to treat yourself to a custom beer pong table! Have you tried this beer yet? What do you think?
Students in Nevada kick off their engineering week with “cosmic pong”: Fun features of cosmic pong include fluorescent cups, black lights, and, of course, some of the tipsiest nerds around.
New York judge throws out the fascinating “case of the injured beer pong player”: So this guy became so drunk playing beer pong that he wandered across a busy highway, got hit by a car (no! really?), and then tried to sue the bar where began playing his multiple hour-long game. This man violates several rules in our Party Pong Code of Conduct, and we know you’re much smarter than this, esteemed Party Pongers.
A newspaper in Michigan reveals the results of their beer haiku contest: And some of the winners are the sort of poetry than can bring a tear to the eye. Rock on, you thirsty wordsmiths.
One ballsy beer company offers up a beer made from fungus-infected grapes: And the most surprising thing? Critics agree it’s great! People describe Dogfish Head’s “Noble Rot,” as it’s called, as a cross between wine and beer. We’re sold.
And finally, at some point in the near future, you may be shaving your face with beer waste. Sweet.
Well, that’s all for the news today, beer pong fans! Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments!
Posted 2 years, 5 months ago at 5:05 pm. 18 comments