You may or may not think of yourself as an intellectual, but you definitely think of yourself as someone who drinks beer. Lucky for you, there are plenty of famous people who ARE intellectuals who ALSO drank beer and said awesome, inspired things about it. Next time you need to sound smart at a party (maybe to impress that hot brainy girl), bring up some of funny beer quotes about beer from famous people about your favorite subject—beer!
Beer Quote #1:
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” ― Benjamin Franklin.
One of the finest minds in American history tells us that beer is a God-given gift? Who are we to argue?
Beer Quote #2
“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” ― Abraham Lincoln
Wiser words about people and politics have never been spoken. We all knew that Lincoln was a great president, but by talking about beer he’s proven himself to be truly wise.
Beer Quote #3
“For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King.”—William Shakespeare
See? Kings are awesome enough to drink all their meals, according to Shakespeare. The rest of us get to have our beers interspersed with pizza.
Beer Quote #4
“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” ― Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde got it right! And, you know, it’s important to show solidarity with the drinking classes by drinking with them!
Beer Quote #5
“Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.” ― Ray Bradbury
Beer is intellectual, and so are you! Clearly it’s a match made in heaven. You should take all the idiots’ beer away from them and drink it yourself!
Take these quotes with you to your next party, and you’ll be able to have intellectual conversations about beer with that brainy cute girl.
Posted 1 month, 2 weeks ago at 12:26 pm. Add a comment
You may think that all the beers in the world are pretty much the same—lighter or darker, or with more or less alcohol volume, but otherwise basically the same. Little did you know…the wide world of beer contains some strange and wonderful concoctions. Here are the top 5 unusual beers in the world.
Unusual Beer #1: Sam Adams Utopias
At 50% Alcohol per volume, this beer is listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as the strongest beer in the world. It includes maple syrup in the brewing process and the flavor is said to be the result of a ménage à trois between a dark amber beer, port wine, and dark spiced rum. Hard to find, this beer should be savored incredibly slowly to keep you from having a truly epic hangover the next day.
Unusual Beer #2: Bilk
Somewhere in a secret laboratory in Japan, someone came up with the idea of making beer with milk. A town had a milk surplus, and someone had the bright idea to combine two incredibly unlike things. As in, your beverage is 2/3 adult alcohol brew, 1/3 kid’s glass of milk before bed. It apparently has a fruity flavor. No word on whether it’s available in the US.
Unusual Beer #3: Cave Creek Chili Beer
Beer goes well with spicy foods, right? How about just having spicy beer? Way more intense than the worm in the tequila bottle, this beer comes with a piece of hot chili pepper in the bottle. Don’t drink more than 2 at once or your stomach will tell you about it.
Unusual Beer #4: Pizza Beer
Along the same lines of “food that goes well with beer should be brewed into beer,” pizza beer is, in fact, brewed with actual pizza ingredients like tomatoes and oregano. It’s produced in very small quantities by a pair of homebrewers, but if you’re into pizza and beer you probably want to check this one out.
Unusual Beer #5: Dog Beer
Brewed with real dogs…PSYCHE! This brew isn’t made with dogs, it’s made for dogs. Someone in Holland decided that Fido shouldn’t be left out from the boozery, so came up with an alcohol free beer made from beef extract and malt. Get some for your favorite canine next time you have the bros over for booze.
Know of any other really unusual beers? Tell us in the comments!
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 1:36 pm. Add a comment
You know that awesome feeling that happens when you’re in a room surrounded by other people who love beer pong as much as you do? Imagine being in an enormous crowd of people who just love beer. Who love beer passionately, obsessively, to the point of traveling across the country to get the absolute perfect sip of beer imaginable. Who will welcome you to join them in their quest to find the best beers in America.
Sound like a fantasy? It’s not. These are beer festivals. And they happen all over the US. You can find more information on beer festivals, including a full calendar of when and where each festival is taking place, on the redoubtable site of http://www.beerfestivals.org/. But wait, did we say all over the US? We meant all over the world. You can find beer festivals from California to England, down to Georgia and up to Canada. There are even entire weeks devoted to beer in some places. Seriously, knowing the existence of all the beer festivals pretty much in the world all at once…this website could probably change your entire world.
If you wanted to, you could even get really ambitious and start your own beer festival where you live. It could be big or small, but it should have as much local beer as humanly possible, and it should also have tons of beer pong. Make your plans, and then let the beerfestivals.com people know that you’ve organized an epic, and you too will go down in history as having organized a kickass event full of awesome people who really, really, really love beer and pong.
Have you been to a beer festival? Do you want to go to one? Do you want to host one? Tell us what you think in the comments!
Posted 7 months ago at 11:51 am. Add a comment
We all know that beer pong is awesome. So on the nights that we’re not playing, we should be watching movies about playing—it’s like getting extra motivation for the next round. Here are five beer pong movies to watch with a cold one.
Beer Pong Movie #1:
Road Trip: Beer Pong (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1319733/)
Three college roommates on a road trip across the country to compete in a National Beer Pong Championship. Did we mention they’re on a bus full of gorgeous, scantily clad models? Also don’t forget “Get Your Balls Wet,” in which the cast of Road Trip: Beer Pong tells everything they know about the sport (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1625550/)
Beer Pong Movie #2:
Last Cup: Road to the World Series of Beer Pong (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1078603/)
It’s a documentary. About Pong. Now you can truthfully tell that cute girl in English class that you watch documentaries for fun.
Beer Pong Movie #3:
Beer Pong Hero (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1899124/)
A dude who’s never had a drink in his life signs up for a beer pong tournament to impress a girl. Hilarity ensues.
Beer Pong Movie #4:
Beer Pong Saved My Life http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1426355/plotsummary
A pair of best friends, tired of their boring lives, join a nearby beer pong tournament. When it turns out that they’re some of the best players there, the praise goes to their heads and untold shenanigans begin.
Beer Pong Movie #5:
Beer Pong: Behind the Glory (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1419291/)
An investigative journalist discovers the world of competitive beer pong in this hilarious mockumentary. Like Last Cup, but a lot more fun.
Get your Netflix and Amazon subscriptions in order, or get yourself down to the closest going-out-of-business video chain, and next time you’re bored with a beer in your hand, watch one of these movies. Then go find someone to play pong with. Possibly to compete with at the national level. For honor, glory, and beer!
Posted 7 months, 2 weeks ago at 11:27 am. Add a comment
So, you’re crushing on that cute girl in the Comp Lit department, and beer pong just isn’t her thing. But hey, there’s got to be a way right? She likes words, you like beer… Drunken Scrabble. What better way to introduce to her the joys of drinking games? It’s almost a match made in heaven.
Rules of the Scrabble Drinking Game:
Take one Scrabble board, with all the various and sundry pieces associated with it (bags of letters,etc). Get together the girl of your dreams and a few more friends (best bet is to have 8 people total, and you can play in 4 teams of 2). Bring a case of beer (ask beforehand what she likes, extra romantic points dude).
As you start to play, take a drink each time someone plays a word worth more than 10 points. If you’re playing with people who are at all intelligent, this should be nearly every turn. Take 2 sips anytime anyone scores higher than 20 points, 3 whenever someone gets more than 30, and so on.
Partway through the game, make the suggestion that creativity counts in terms of both spelling and what constitutes a “real word.” Shakespeare made up words, didn’t he? So can you! If you can come up with a plausible-sounding definition, it counts! By the end of the game, the board should be full of ridiculous nonsense words and everyone should be ridiculously tipsy and giggling.
Take a picture of the board when you finish, and share it when you’re all sober the next day. See if you can remember what all your made-up words meant. With any luck, your lady love will have had a great time, remember most if not all of the crazy made-up definitions, and be eager to have a drunken scrabble match again. Voila—second date!
Posted 8 months ago at 1:26 pm. Add a comment
Whether its the Oscars, the Emmys, or Golden Globes, you know you’re going to watch the awards shows. Now whether you have any real interest in the celebrities or not, the one thing you do know is that you might as well drink while you’re doing it. Here’s a new drinking game, applicable to any awards show you may be watching.
- Anytime anyone says the name of the award show, take a drink.
- Anytime the host’s attempts at humor fall flat, take a drink.
- Anytime anyone uses the words “excitement” or “anticipation” to describe the atmosphere, take a drink.
- Anytime there’s a big, dramatic pause between “and the award goes to…” and an actual name, take a drink.
- Anytime the camera pans to the candidates for an award and at least one of them isn’t wearing a big, fake smile, take a drink.
- Anytime the winner doesn’t immediately register that their name was just read and they should get the hell onstage, take a drink.
- Anytime a winner starts to cry during their acceptance speech, take a drink.
- Anytime a winner thanks their family, take a drink for every family member they mention by name.
- Anytime a winner thanks God, take 2 drinks—one for you, and one for Jeebus!
- Anytime a winner talks over the allotted time, chug from whenever the host tries to shut them up until they actually stop talking.
This set of rules should get you pretty sloshed, pretty quickly, no matter which awards show you’re watching. If you have ideas for rules of your own to add to this list, either for awards shows in general or for a specific one, post them in the comments below!
Posted 8 months, 2 weeks ago at 4:25 pm. Add a comment
It’s freaking freezing outside, and the snow is up past your knees. The sensible thing to do would be to stay inside and get drunk normally. I mean sure, you could even have some classic drunk karaoke. But for an intrepid bro like yourself who recognizes the voice of opportunity, there’s only one thing to do: play snow pong!
What is snow pong? We’re so glad you asked! Snow pong is the combination of your most epic beer pong battle in history combined with all your childhood fantasies of building epic snow forts. The steps are simple:
- Call your bros and tell them about the impending epicness. Get them all together and go outside.
- Build yourself a beer pong table/beer cooler out of snow (this is where the epic snow fort fantasy happens—bonus points if you have a major snowball fight while you’re building the table). Make it the same height and dimensions as a regular beer pong table, but hollow out places in the sides to hold your beer cans, so that they’ll be naturally nice and chilly for the game.
- Play pong! You can use the normal rules, or make up extra rules to reflect the fact that you’re outside in the snow. Add a chunk of snow to each cup, make the loser create a drunk snow angel…whatever your drunk creativity wants to do.
- Repeat until you’re all too frozen to continue. Go inside, get warm, and then go do it all over again!
- Send us photos and tell us in the comments about your variations on the game. The more ridiculous the shenanigans, the better!
These simple steps are the essential keys to your winterfest bronanza!
Posted 8 months, 3 weeks ago at 11:58 am. Add a comment
Nothing is worse than warm beer. But not all beer cooling methods are created equal. Here’s a rundown of the options, so as the weather gets hot you can keep your beer cold and icy.
1. Styrofoam coolers
Pros: the ultimate in portable and disposable. Take it with you to the beach or to the mountains or wherever the hell your road trip will take you, abuse it thoroughly, and know at the end of the day that even if you destroy it, you’ll still have had cold beer and you’ll have only spent a few bucks on the container.
Cons: Styrofoam’s bad for the environment, dude. Get something that costs a couple bucks more that’s reusable.
2. Beer can sleeves
Pros: They keep your individual can of beer cold while you’re drinking it.
Cons: They only work for one can at a time. Also, they mostly look dumb.
Pros: Holds a couple of beer’s worth of booze, designed to go with you wherever you go.
Cons: Everyone needs to bring their own, because one thermos definitely won’t hold enough beer to share. Also, make sure you get one that looks like it actually belongs to an adult and not an elementary-schooler.
Pros: They hold an entire keg! And keep it cold! With science!
Cons: They’re not exactly portable. You can use it for a kickass house party, but you can’t take it on the road.
5. Freezable Beer Pong Coolers
Pros: It’s a rack to help you line up your cups perfectly! It keeps your beer cold while you play! It’s portable! It’s specifically designed for beer pong!
Cons: Is it possible to have cons for anything specifically designed to help your beer pong game go better? There is absolutely nothing wrong with this method of keeping beer cold!
Clearly there are plenty of options for keeping your beer chilly…but only one that will keep your beer cold WHILE YOU PLAY PONG. We have a winner!
Posted 9 months ago at 12:41 pm. Add a comment
New Year’s Eve 2014 is right around the corner, and so we must queue the nostalgia. We have all been around to witness such global extraordinary events such as the Outkast reunion, Frozen dominating the billboard for 20 weeks straight, and the resurrection of Michael Jackson himself! Or at least his old archived and unreleased music. New Year’s Eve is a special time of year mixed with romance, hope, and new year’s resolutions. But everyone knows that you can’t simply enter into the new year, you’ve gotta ring in the new year with the most craziest, biggest, and alcoholic party imaginable. To that end, here are a few New Year’s Eve drinking games to help get your party going strong.
1. Cheap Champagne Pong.
When in doubt, adapt a classic. Play it the same as beer pong, but use the cheapest champagne you can find instead of beer. It’s the party game you love the most, done New Year’s Eve style! While your at it, impress your bros and girlfriends with the most sickest neon glowing beer pong table to match the New Year’s eve decor.
2. Don’t Say It!
For this game, have a list of words that people can’t say. Make them words appropriate to the occasion that are quite likely to come up in conversation, like “party,” “new year,” “resolution,” etc. Anytime someone says one of the forbidden words, they have to take a drink. This won’t necessarily result in people not saying the forbidden words, but it definitely will result in everyone drinking a little more and a little faster. Which is basically the point.
3. Ball Drop Drinking Game
As midnight approaches, it’s inevitable that people will start to cluster around the TV to watch the ball drop in Times Square. To liven up the experience, take a drink every time one of these things happens on TV.
The news anchor utters any of these phrases:
- “live from Times Square”
- “In [x] minutes, the ball will start to drop
- “people have been camped out here since [whenever]”
- “Performing later tonight will be [x]”
The screen shows any of these shots:
- The ball at any point before the countdown
- A pan of faces of people waiting for midnight
- The empty stage where they keep telling you interesting things will happen
Even if you don’t turn the TV on until ten minutes before midnight actually strikes, there will still be plenty of opportunities to drink!
With this set of games prepped, you’ll be able to throw the best party in the history of 2014 and set 2015 off to a really great start.
Posted 9 months, 3 weeks ago at 7:51 pm. Add a comment
You’re going home for the holidays, which means lots of ugly sweater parties and awkward questions about your activities at school. To help you prepare for this inevitable slump in your social life, we’ve brought you five holiday drinking games to jingle your bells before you head home.
Holiday Drinking Game #1 – Christmas Carol Conundrums
Do you know all the words to “jingle bell rock?” Are you sure? Get a group of your friends together and distribute shot glasses. Have whatever liquor you like on hand. Someone in the group should start out by singing the first line of a Christmas carol or other holiday song. Go around in the circle, with each person singing the next line, until someone screws up. That person then has to take a shot and start the next song.
Holiday Drinking Game #2 – Twelve Days of Christmas
Warning: this drinking game is not for lightweights. Winning could quite probably involve alcohol poisoning. You’ve been warned. You’ll need a different kind of liquor for each of the 12 days of Christmas, preferably festive or creative varieties depending on what your budget will allow. Then you all start singing: “on the first day of Christmas…” and take a shot of the first beverage. On the second day, “two turtle doves” gets the a shot of the second kind of liquor, and the “partridge in a pear tree” gets you another shot of the first. And so on. The last person standing is the winner.
Holiday Drinking Game #3 – Holiday Musical Chairs
The usual setup for musical chairs, but play the most obnoxious holiday music you can find. With each round, whoever is eliminated has to take a shot. As a variation, have half the group sitting on the chairs the whole time. When the music stops, whoever is walking around has to sit on someone’s lap. Depending who sits on which person’s lap, this could be naughty or nice!
Holiday Drinking Game #4 – Vodka Roulette
Prepare a shot glass for everyone in the room. All but one will contain water, the last one contains vodka. Everyone takes their shot at the same time, and whoever gets the vodka is out. They then get to prepare the next round. You can do all the rounds at once, or you can intersperse them randomly throughout the night to add that element of surprise.
Holiday Drinking Game #5 – Holiday Buzzwords
Everyone gets assigned a word at random: “Christmas,” “ho ho ho,” “snow,” “reindeer,” etc. Anytime during the party when someone hears their word they have to take a shot. This is also a great game to play surreptitiously on your own while at your family’s ugly sweater party. Make sure your punch is spiked, and take a sip anytime a family member says something awkward.
This set of games is sure to keep your holiday parties well-lubricated and full of holiday cheer.
Posted 10 months, 1 week ago at 10:28 am. Add a comment