Sex & Beer Pong. 2 of America’s Favorite Activities
Ever wonder what the similarities are between your two favorite activities? Look no farther: the answers are here.
1.) Playing with Balls
Let’s start with the obvious: you’re sending your balls towards holes. We’ll leave out the obvious quibble about how in one activity your balls go in the holes and in the other your balls are near the holes because other things are actually inside…the analogy is close enough to allow for a hell of a lot of innuendo, which anyone but the densest bro instinctively understands.
2.) Going all Night Long
A man who’s truly dedicated to his game can play beer pong all night long. If you get tired out early on in the evening, it’s time to start working on your stamina!
3.) Fingering and blowing
Traditionally in beer pong, if a ball is spinning around the edge of a cup, girls are allowed to try to blow the ball into the cup, and guys are allowed to try to flick it in with their fingers. Girls blow and guys finger….we won’t insult your intelligence by spelling out the analogy here.
4.) The amount you talk about scoring…is inversely proportional to how often you actually score.
This one’s a no-brainer, courtesy of Psych 101. The more a bro talks about what great game he has, the more likely he is to be overcompensating. Do with this info what you will.
5.) Single partners, group games, and serial monogamy (oh my)
You can play beer pong with one other person…or you can play two on two, three on three, four on four… You can also play one on one sequentially with multiple different people. As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, it’s all good!
Anyone else have any good comparisons? Leave them in the comments!
Posted 4 months, 2 weeks ago at 4:08 pm. 7 comments
Romantic beer pong is way better than chocolates and flowers
Most of the time, when people think about romance, they think about wine and chocolate and flowers. Those things are alright, but we all know what’s better: beer! Unfortunately, under normal circumstances, your girlfriend might not agree. Here are the top five ways to make her change her mind.
- Craft beer tastings
If your girlfriend isn’t that crazy about beer, taking her to a craft beer tasting could be just the thing for a romantic day out. Find a brewery in your area and call ahead to make the arrangements, then surprise her with roses and a special tasting to find out exactly which brews she likes.
- Romantic picnic
What could be better than a romantic picnic? A romantic picnic with really nice beer! Try a lambic or similarly fancy import to impress her, and make sure the picnic is full of all her favorite foods. Find a nice spot outdoors, or have a picnic on your living room floor…just be creative and have fun!
- Beer in a champagne bottle
Part of what your girlfriend likes about champagne is that it involves a bit of ceremony: you have the untwisting of the wire, the popping of the cork, the pouring of fresh bubbly into champagne flutes…Nowadays, though, there are fancy beers that come in champagne bottles, meaning that you can have the same amount of pomp and ceremony with something that you actually want to drink.
- Beer brewed with chocolate
We all know that chocolate is one of the main things that women want in life. But did you know that there are actually beers brewed with chocolate? Find one and give it to her, along with a box of actual chocolates, and the beer romance factor goes basically off the charts.
- Beer cocktails
Sometimes, only a fancy cocktail will do. Fortunately, there are beer cocktails that can be classy and romantic, like a Black and Red or a Black Velvet.
Whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day, a birthday, an anniversary, or just a day that your girlfriend really wants to be romantic, you now know five different ways to incorporate your favorite beverage into whatever you do.
Posted 6 months, 3 weeks ago at 11:12 am. Add a comment
If you’re serious about playing beer pong as a sport and not just as a game to get wasted at parties, you’ll want to start looking at ways to improve your performance. Other athletes in other sports think about things like how their shoes affect their performance, and it’s high time that, as legitimate athletes, beer pong players should do the same. Here are some of the things to think about when you’re looking at shoes in which to play beer pong.
If you’re really serious about the game, you probably want to get yourself to a running store and choose your shoes with the same care you’d use in choosing shoes for a marathon. Do your feet tend to pronate your feet, or do you roll them outwards? Which part of your foot absorbs most of the shock when you jump vertically to score that epic point? Investing in good running shoes tells the world that you’re seriously hardcore when it comes to your chosen sport.
Sneakers are great, but sometimes it’s hot out. Sometimes you’re at the beach. Sometimes you just really don’t want to wear sneakers. It’s okay. Sporty sandals are your friends. Pick a pair that you could go hiking in, a pair for running, jumping, and climbing trees. They might not be quite as hardcore as sneakers, but high-tech sandals can still give you that competitive edge.
- Glove shoes
Love them or hate them, the glove shoes with the individually articulated toes do have some distinct advantages when it comes to sports. They give your feet their full range of motion, making it easier to run, jump, and land. You get the au naturel feeling of being barefoot without having to worry about stepping on nails, broken glass, or whatever nastiness is on the floor at 2am during a frat party. The jury is out on how hardcore these toe shoes are, but as long as whatever you wear on your feet comes from a pure place of wanting to be all that you can be at the pong table, that’s hardcore enough for us here.
What are your favorite shoes for playing beer pong? Tell us here!
Posted 10 months, 3 weeks ago at 11:19 am. 7 comments
The recent heat waves in California caused a 3 hour power outage last week and got us thinking…what do we do to entertain ourselves if the power goes out??
You can always play beer pong on a Party Pong Table with new Glow Lights. DON’T play pong or any other game involving moving objects by candlelight—the reasons for that should be pretty obvious. But as long as you’ve got a crowd and all the necessary equipment, go for it! It will make a great story to share with your friends who were less well-prepared and spent powerless hours draining their smartphone batteries by obsessively checking the department of water and power’s website. Take photos and earn bragging rights when you finally have Facebook again.
If you’re not fortunate enough to have your Party Pong table nearby when the lights go out, or you lack non-flammable light sources, never fear. There are plenty of games you can play with no light—the best ones are throwbacks to being thirteen at summer camp. Truth or Dare? Truths get racier the more drunk you get, and dares get more ridiculous. Go to a professor’s office hours in your boxers! Ask someone out while standing on your head! Dares can also wait until the power comes back on to execute, which gives you plenty of anticipation points to help you pass the evening. Variations can also include tales of your exploits from ages past—swap stories about the crazy things you did when you actually were thirteen at summer camp, and take a drink every time someone says “camping,” “hot counselor,” “saddle sores,” or “poison ivy.”
If none of those work for you, there’s always the tried-and-true pastime of singing drinking songs. Think beyond “99 Bottles of Beer”—you can turn “Old Mac Donald” into a dirty drinking song if you’re sufficiently creative about it. And the drunker you get, the more inventive your lyrics will be. If you’re not too drunk to hold a pencil, write your songs down for posterity, and do a dramatic reading of them next time you’re sober.
Obviously, this list is not exhaustive. Comment and let us know what you would do if the power goes out!
Posted 11 months, 2 weeks ago at 5:50 pm. 13 comments
Oktoberfest is a 16-day festival celebrating beer held annually in Munich, Bavaria, Germany, running from late September to the first weekend in October. Even though the “official” Oktoberfest celebration might be over, we’re pretty sure that with a name like “Oktoberfest” it’s entirely reasonable to celebrate for the entire month of October. For that reason, here’s a list of four things that you should definitely NOT do to celebrate this month of German booze.
- Drink any kind of beer other than Oktoberfest Beer
Dude, it’s tradition! Who are you to argue? You can’t drink the normal stuff in October, that’s sacrilege! In fact, you should really try every kind of Oktoberfest beer that you can find. It’s cultural research! You could probably use your data on different Oktoberfest Beers for some kind of paper!
- Wear Lederhosen
Yeah, that whole tradition thing? Keep it for the beer. No one actually wears lederhosen anymore. If they do, they’re probably a) actually from Bavaria, and b) dressed up for a special event. In other world, it’s a costume. You probably already have other costume plans for Halloween.
- Give a speech in a language you think might be German
They say that you always speak foreign languages better when drunk, but your year of high school German probably didn’t prepare you to stand on a table and wax eloquent about beer, October, German traditions, German beer, lederhosen, and anything else that strikes you as inspirational after your sixth pint. If you’re going to stand on a table and make a speech while drunk, it should probably be in English.
- Grope a barmaid
She might be wearing a cute dirndl, and that cleavage may look luscious, but if she’s capable of carrying multiple pint glasses in one hand (which to be serving during Oktoberfest she almost certainly is), then she probably also has a mean right hook. Pretty barmaids who could kick your ass? Also a German tradition.
While there are probably other things that you shouldn’t do to celebrate Oktoberfest, this list covers the biggies. For the others…well…go out and discover them!
Posted 1 year ago at 5:48 pm. 16 comments
As Halloween approaches, you’ll want to make your parties Halloween themed without succumbing to cheesy trick-or-treat type gimmicks. One solution? Take your classic beer pong and turn it into pumpkin pong. This is a labor-intensive adaptation of the game, so you’ll want to give yourself plenty of time and maybe enlist a friend or two to help.
You’ll need a minimum of 20 small pumpkins, one for each of the cups you would normally use for a regular game. Given that things can get knocked over, and in the presence of drunk people accidents are likely, you’ll probably want to have at least 5 extra pumpkins on hand. Maybe more, if your friends are klutzes.
Take however many pumpkins you’ve decided on using, cut off the tops, and scoop out the insides like you’re making a jack-o-lantern. If you’re really ambitious, you can save and roast the seeds to snack on during the party. Once the pumpkin innards are clean, keep the pumpkin shells in the refrigerator until they’re ready to be used.
When gametime comes, set up the hollowed-out pumpkins and fill them with beer, just like you would for a normal tournament, and play just like you normally would. Once you’re finished, feast on roasted pumpkin seeds and Halloween candy, and congratulate yourself and your friends on giving your favorite holiday from when you were five a truly grown-up twist.
Posted 1 year, 9 months ago at 5:49 pm. Add a comment
You realize that you have to be back at college in just a few short weeks, right? You want to have the most awesome party house on campus this year, right? Well, we have three words for you that can make it happen: Beer Pong Table. You need one. And not just any beer pong table, because the guy who lives two buildings over already bought or made his own boring beer pong table. You need the Ultimate Beer Pong Table. And we’re going to tell you how to get it.
Get the right start: We love all kinds of beer pong tables, we really do. But if your goal is to have the most awesome beer pong spot on campus, you have to go classy. Start with a wood beer pong table and get a bonus 100 Classiness Points. Think “I don’t always play beer pong, but when I do I play it on a premium wood beer pong table with a water-proof sealant coating”.
Get the girl: Have you heard that we’re partnered with Playboy to put hot girls on every inch of your beer pong table? Well, now you know. There is nothing more distracting to your beer pong opponent (other than the increasing intoxication) than trying to focus on cups that are sitting just beyond the half-covered bosom of a Playmate. There are dozens of images to choose from and you really can’t go wrong. You’re combining sexy ladies, beer, and competition all on one table here!
Get upgraded: Don’t stop now, you’re almost at maximum awesomeness. What if we told you that you can combine sexy ladies, beer, competition, and music all into one amazing table? Mind blown? Scoop your jaw up off the floor and let’s talk about beer pong tables with built in speakers. You can add speakers to any table for less than $50! Yes, you COULD zip-tie some computer speakers to the table legs, but remember we’re building the Ultimate Beer Pong Table here. Zip ties are not classy.
Get stability: Finally, you’re so close to the Ultimate Beer Pong Table. Take it to the next level with cup placement holes pre-drilled! Unless you’re someone who really believes in the fun of spilling beer everywhere on every other turn, cup holes are the way to go. Keep the game organized and your floor clean at the same time.
There you have it: the Ultimate Beer Pong Table. It’s classy, it’s sexy, it’s musically talented and it will keep holding your beer for you even after you throw things at it all night.
Posted 2 years ago at 11:34 am. 19 comments
It’s about time you F yourself up with some knowledge
It’s time for another version of Beer in the News, where we find you all the latest beer and pong-related items and tidbits! Plus, Beer in the News give us an excuse to say “tidbits.” Without further delay, here are the latest happenings in the world of beer and beer pong:
Pong Beer, a beer made specifically for beer pong, is now available in 15 states: What makes this beer so great for beer pong? Well, its biggest selling point seems to be the price; a 30-pack runs for $17. At that price, you’ll have enough money left over to treat yourself to a custom beer pong table! Have you tried this beer yet? What do you think?
Students in Nevada kick off their engineering week with “cosmic pong”: Fun features of cosmic pong include fluorescent cups, black lights, and, of course, some of the tipsiest nerds around.
New York judge throws out the fascinating “case of the injured beer pong player”: So this guy became so drunk playing beer pong that he wandered across a busy highway, got hit by a car (no! really?), and then tried to sue the bar where began playing his multiple hour-long game. This man violates several rules in our Party Pong Code of Conduct, and we know you’re much smarter than this, esteemed Party Pongers.
A newspaper in Michigan reveals the results of their beer haiku contest: And some of the winners are the sort of poetry than can bring a tear to the eye. Rock on, you thirsty wordsmiths.
One ballsy beer company offers up a beer made from fungus-infected grapes: And the most surprising thing? Critics agree it’s great! People describe Dogfish Head’s “Noble Rot,” as it’s called, as a cross between wine and beer. We’re sold.
And finally, at some point in the near future, you may be shaving your face with beer waste. Sweet.
Well, that’s all for the news today, beer pong fans! Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments!
Posted 2 years ago at 5:05 pm. 18 comments
Odds are if you are reading this blog, you enjoy drinking games whether its beer pong, tip cup, beer chess, or something more specific. There are many games that are helped by the addition of drinking rules, and it is so easy to write your own drinking game for any topic of your choosing, that it can begin to seem like all games are potential drinking games. Be warned however, not all games should be combined with alcohol. To save you from learning this the hard way, please avoid the following games while drinking.
1. (Sport) Ice Hockey: This game is an excellent predecessor to drinking, but the game should be completed prior to engaging in the consumption of alcohol. Let’s face it, skating with sticks using sharpened blades on your feet is not safe when sober. Please do not try it combined with alcohol.
2. (Video Game) Grand Theft Auto IV: The camera cuts, swerving and high speed motion are a key component in the following equation:Beer + G.T.A.IV= Motion Sickness
3. (Sport) Polo: Polo is an excellent drinking sport, for the spectators. While you enjoy your field side beverages, please remember not to jump into the fray. Neither water nor horses and mallets should be combined with beverages that reduce aim.
4. (Group Game) Red Rover: “Red Rover, Red Rover, send Bud right over?” Not so much. The only thing that seems like fun when playing this game and drinking is crashing into the other players. It’s a recipe for injury at best, and angry drunken brawls at worst. Not a good idea, especially if you ever want to engage in drinking games with those friends again.
5. (Board Game) The Game of Life: This game is boring. Beer is a depressant. Combine the two and you will likely fall asleep. And then you cannot drink or play anymore until you wake up. And that is counterproductive.
This list is not comprehensive, but hopefully it provides you with a sampling that can help determine when a game just isn’t fit for adaptation to drinking. And if you have a way to make one of these games work, spread the word!
Posted 2 years, 1 month ago at 4:58 pm. 24 comments
When playing beer pong or other drinking games, common practice is to buy any inexpensive beer to fill the cups. This is perfect for newer beer drinkers, pong players on a budget (who isn’t on a budget these days?), and gatherings where the focus is on company and entertainment rather than beverage. But then, when drinking is less for sport and more focused on taste it can become difficult to choose among the beers offered in the local store. Those beers aren’t Bud Weiser, or Miller, but what are they like? A beer fan can read up on the latest beers in any number of blogs. But no words equal the experience of tasting.
Fortunately, tis the season for festivals! Across the country cities and towns are hosting street festivals and fairs of all varieties. And one particularly fitting festival that crops up around the nation during summer months is perfect for drinkers seeking to find their tastes in the beer world.
July alone hosts more the fifty beer festivals around the United States, with several more overseas. Many of these festivals include upwards of 200 beers available in one location!
For the price of a ticket (often less than $50 per festival), visitors can sample a wide variety of beers and gain a feel for their own tastes. The tasting of beer is broken up by seminars on the uses for beer, or on brewing beer of your own. Food is offered for pairing with the festival’s beers, so guests can spend the day tasting and enjoying them. All in all, these festivals offer a wonderful way to dive into the world of beer. Enjoy!
Posted 2 years, 2 months ago at 8:51 am. 19 comments