You may or may not think of yourself as an intellectual, but you definitely think of yourself as someone who drinks beer. Lucky for you, there are plenty of famous people who ARE intellectuals who ALSO drank beer and said awesome, inspired things about it. Next time you need to sound smart at a party (maybe to impress that hot brainy girl), bring up some of funny beer quotes about beer from famous people about your favorite subject—beer!
Beer Quote #1:
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” ― Benjamin Franklin.
One of the finest minds in American history tells us that beer is a God-given gift? Who are we to argue?
Beer Quote #2
“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” ― Abraham Lincoln
Wiser words about people and politics have never been spoken. We all knew that Lincoln was a great president, but by talking about beer he’s proven himself to be truly wise.
Beer Quote #3
“For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King.”—William Shakespeare
See? Kings are awesome enough to drink all their meals, according to Shakespeare. The rest of us get to have our beers interspersed with pizza.
Beer Quote #4
“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” ― Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde got it right! And, you know, it’s important to show solidarity with the drinking classes by drinking with them!
Beer Quote #5
“Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.” ― Ray Bradbury
Beer is intellectual, and so are you! Clearly it’s a match made in heaven. You should take all the idiots’ beer away from them and drink it yourself!
Take these quotes with you to your next party, and you’ll be able to have intellectual conversations about beer with that brainy cute girl.
Posted 1 month, 2 weeks ago at 12:26 pm. Add a comment
You may think that all the beers in the world are pretty much the same—lighter or darker, or with more or less alcohol volume, but otherwise basically the same. Little did you know…the wide world of beer contains some strange and wonderful concoctions. Here are the top 5 unusual beers in the world.
Unusual Beer #1: Sam Adams Utopias
At 50% Alcohol per volume, this beer is listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as the strongest beer in the world. It includes maple syrup in the brewing process and the flavor is said to be the result of a ménage à trois between a dark amber beer, port wine, and dark spiced rum. Hard to find, this beer should be savored incredibly slowly to keep you from having a truly epic hangover the next day.
Unusual Beer #2: Bilk
Somewhere in a secret laboratory in Japan, someone came up with the idea of making beer with milk. A town had a milk surplus, and someone had the bright idea to combine two incredibly unlike things. As in, your beverage is 2/3 adult alcohol brew, 1/3 kid’s glass of milk before bed. It apparently has a fruity flavor. No word on whether it’s available in the US.
Unusual Beer #3: Cave Creek Chili Beer
Beer goes well with spicy foods, right? How about just having spicy beer? Way more intense than the worm in the tequila bottle, this beer comes with a piece of hot chili pepper in the bottle. Don’t drink more than 2 at once or your stomach will tell you about it.
Unusual Beer #4: Pizza Beer
Along the same lines of “food that goes well with beer should be brewed into beer,” pizza beer is, in fact, brewed with actual pizza ingredients like tomatoes and oregano. It’s produced in very small quantities by a pair of homebrewers, but if you’re into pizza and beer you probably want to check this one out.
Unusual Beer #5: Dog Beer
Brewed with real dogs…PSYCHE! This brew isn’t made with dogs, it’s made for dogs. Someone in Holland decided that Fido shouldn’t be left out from the boozery, so came up with an alcohol free beer made from beef extract and malt. Get some for your favorite canine next time you have the bros over for booze.
Know of any other really unusual beers? Tell us in the comments!
Posted 5 months, 2 weeks ago at 1:36 pm. Add a comment
You know that awesome feeling that happens when you’re in a room surrounded by other people who love beer pong as much as you do? Imagine being in an enormous crowd of people who just love beer. Who love beer passionately, obsessively, to the point of traveling across the country to get the absolute perfect sip of beer imaginable. Who will welcome you to join them in their quest to find the best beers in America.
Sound like a fantasy? It’s not. These are beer festivals. And they happen all over the US. You can find more information on beer festivals, including a full calendar of when and where each festival is taking place, on the redoubtable site of http://www.beerfestivals.org/. But wait, did we say all over the US? We meant all over the world. You can find beer festivals from California to England, down to Georgia and up to Canada. There are even entire weeks devoted to beer in some places. Seriously, knowing the existence of all the beer festivals pretty much in the world all at once…this website could probably change your entire world.
If you wanted to, you could even get really ambitious and start your own beer festival where you live. It could be big or small, but it should have as much local beer as humanly possible, and it should also have tons of beer pong. Make your plans, and then let the beerfestivals.com people know that you’ve organized an epic, and you too will go down in history as having organized a kickass event full of awesome people who really, really, really love beer and pong.
Have you been to a beer festival? Do you want to go to one? Do you want to host one? Tell us what you think in the comments!
Posted 7 months ago at 11:51 am. Add a comment
So, you’re crushing on that cute girl in the Comp Lit department, and beer pong just isn’t her thing. But hey, there’s got to be a way right? She likes words, you like beer… Drunken Scrabble. What better way to introduce to her the joys of drinking games? It’s almost a match made in heaven.
Rules of the Scrabble Drinking Game:
Take one Scrabble board, with all the various and sundry pieces associated with it (bags of letters,etc). Get together the girl of your dreams and a few more friends (best bet is to have 8 people total, and you can play in 4 teams of 2). Bring a case of beer (ask beforehand what she likes, extra romantic points dude).
As you start to play, take a drink each time someone plays a word worth more than 10 points. If you’re playing with people who are at all intelligent, this should be nearly every turn. Take 2 sips anytime anyone scores higher than 20 points, 3 whenever someone gets more than 30, and so on.
Partway through the game, make the suggestion that creativity counts in terms of both spelling and what constitutes a “real word.” Shakespeare made up words, didn’t he? So can you! If you can come up with a plausible-sounding definition, it counts! By the end of the game, the board should be full of ridiculous nonsense words and everyone should be ridiculously tipsy and giggling.
Take a picture of the board when you finish, and share it when you’re all sober the next day. See if you can remember what all your made-up words meant. With any luck, your lady love will have had a great time, remember most if not all of the crazy made-up definitions, and be eager to have a drunken scrabble match again. Voila—second date!
Posted 8 months ago at 1:26 pm. Add a comment
Whether its the Oscars, the Emmys, or Golden Globes, you know you’re going to watch the awards shows. Now whether you have any real interest in the celebrities or not, the one thing you do know is that you might as well drink while you’re doing it. Here’s a new drinking game, applicable to any awards show you may be watching.
- Anytime anyone says the name of the award show, take a drink.
- Anytime the host’s attempts at humor fall flat, take a drink.
- Anytime anyone uses the words “excitement” or “anticipation” to describe the atmosphere, take a drink.
- Anytime there’s a big, dramatic pause between “and the award goes to…” and an actual name, take a drink.
- Anytime the camera pans to the candidates for an award and at least one of them isn’t wearing a big, fake smile, take a drink.
- Anytime the winner doesn’t immediately register that their name was just read and they should get the hell onstage, take a drink.
- Anytime a winner starts to cry during their acceptance speech, take a drink.
- Anytime a winner thanks their family, take a drink for every family member they mention by name.
- Anytime a winner thanks God, take 2 drinks—one for you, and one for Jeebus!
- Anytime a winner talks over the allotted time, chug from whenever the host tries to shut them up until they actually stop talking.
This set of rules should get you pretty sloshed, pretty quickly, no matter which awards show you’re watching. If you have ideas for rules of your own to add to this list, either for awards shows in general or for a specific one, post them in the comments below!
Posted 8 months, 2 weeks ago at 4:25 pm. Add a comment
It’s freaking freezing outside, and the snow is up past your knees. The sensible thing to do would be to stay inside and get drunk normally. I mean sure, you could even have some classic drunk karaoke. But for an intrepid bro like yourself who recognizes the voice of opportunity, there’s only one thing to do: play snow pong!
What is snow pong? We’re so glad you asked! Snow pong is the combination of your most epic beer pong battle in history combined with all your childhood fantasies of building epic snow forts. The steps are simple:
- Call your bros and tell them about the impending epicness. Get them all together and go outside.
- Build yourself a beer pong table/beer cooler out of snow (this is where the epic snow fort fantasy happens—bonus points if you have a major snowball fight while you’re building the table). Make it the same height and dimensions as a regular beer pong table, but hollow out places in the sides to hold your beer cans, so that they’ll be naturally nice and chilly for the game.
- Play pong! You can use the normal rules, or make up extra rules to reflect the fact that you’re outside in the snow. Add a chunk of snow to each cup, make the loser create a drunk snow angel…whatever your drunk creativity wants to do.
- Repeat until you’re all too frozen to continue. Go inside, get warm, and then go do it all over again!
- Send us photos and tell us in the comments about your variations on the game. The more ridiculous the shenanigans, the better!
These simple steps are the essential keys to your winterfest bronanza!
Posted 8 months, 3 weeks ago at 11:58 am. Add a comment
You’re going home for the holidays, which means lots of ugly sweater parties and awkward questions about your activities at school. To help you prepare for this inevitable slump in your social life, we’ve brought you five holiday drinking games to jingle your bells before you head home.
Holiday Drinking Game #1 – Christmas Carol Conundrums
Do you know all the words to “jingle bell rock?” Are you sure? Get a group of your friends together and distribute shot glasses. Have whatever liquor you like on hand. Someone in the group should start out by singing the first line of a Christmas carol or other holiday song. Go around in the circle, with each person singing the next line, until someone screws up. That person then has to take a shot and start the next song.
Holiday Drinking Game #2 – Twelve Days of Christmas
Warning: this drinking game is not for lightweights. Winning could quite probably involve alcohol poisoning. You’ve been warned. You’ll need a different kind of liquor for each of the 12 days of Christmas, preferably festive or creative varieties depending on what your budget will allow. Then you all start singing: “on the first day of Christmas…” and take a shot of the first beverage. On the second day, “two turtle doves” gets the a shot of the second kind of liquor, and the “partridge in a pear tree” gets you another shot of the first. And so on. The last person standing is the winner.
Holiday Drinking Game #3 – Holiday Musical Chairs
The usual setup for musical chairs, but play the most obnoxious holiday music you can find. With each round, whoever is eliminated has to take a shot. As a variation, have half the group sitting on the chairs the whole time. When the music stops, whoever is walking around has to sit on someone’s lap. Depending who sits on which person’s lap, this could be naughty or nice!
Holiday Drinking Game #4 – Vodka Roulette
Prepare a shot glass for everyone in the room. All but one will contain water, the last one contains vodka. Everyone takes their shot at the same time, and whoever gets the vodka is out. They then get to prepare the next round. You can do all the rounds at once, or you can intersperse them randomly throughout the night to add that element of surprise.
Holiday Drinking Game #5 – Holiday Buzzwords
Everyone gets assigned a word at random: “Christmas,” “ho ho ho,” “snow,” “reindeer,” etc. Anytime during the party when someone hears their word they have to take a shot. This is also a great game to play surreptitiously on your own while at your family’s ugly sweater party. Make sure your punch is spiked, and take a sip anytime a family member says something awkward.
This set of games is sure to keep your holiday parties well-lubricated and full of holiday cheer.
Posted 10 months, 1 week ago at 10:28 am. Add a comment
Party Pong Beer Pong Party
Everyone loves a fantastic party full of beer pong! Everyone wants to go, get drunk, play pong, have a great time, and maybe get laid. Everyone dreams of hosting the biggest, most epic party imaginable.
And then, the next day, when your entire house smells like spilled beer, there are empty cups and beer cans everywhere, you can’t tell what color the floor is, there are three strange people asleep in your bed, and you and all your bros are nursing hangovers…you’re going to hate yourself and everyone who came to the party, because while everyone else gets to stay in bed with their hangovers, you’re the ass who has to clean up.
Relax, bro. It’s not so bad. Here are the best ways to host an epic party at your house and not hate yourself the next day.
- Get a beer pong table that will set you up for success
The days or regular folding tables are over, bro. You will increase your epic-ness and reduce your cleanup woes if you use a dedicated beer pong table with pre-drilled holes to hold your cups. You gain bro points because dude, you actually have your own beer pong table. You gain morning-after points because you’ll have a hell of a lot less beer on the floor. If you really want to up the ante, get a custom table with a playmate emblazoned on the surface, and then get your bros to wipe off the table between games. After all, you can’t be disrespecting that playmate’s luscious boobs!
- Keep it outdoors
Do you have any outdoor space at all? Is the weather even slightly above freezing? Keep your party outdoors as much as possible. You’ll have more space to put people if you have indoor and outdoor action going on, and you’ll have less mess and spilled beer inside the house to deal with the next day. Plus, having most of the party taking place outside reduces the chances that you’ll find random strangers making out in your bed at the end of the night.
- Set up obvious places for your empty beer cans to go
It’s not rocket science, bro. Put out big trash bags in obvious places, and people will figure out that the empty cups and cans go there. People will barely notice during the party—sticking trash in trash bags is kind of automatic—but you’ll notice the next day, when you won’t have nearly as many random plastic cups all over your place.
- Pitchers of water
Yeah, we all know that half the point of a party is to get wasted, but make sure there’s water and other non-boozy stuff for people to drink. Hydration is good, and people are a lot more likely to remember to drink water if it’s out there and obvious. Believe us, everyone will be happier, both during the party and after, if there isn’t vomit in the sink.
- Stock up on your cleaning stuff ahead of time
You know that massive beer and supply run that you make before you host a party? When you get booze, chips and salsa, red solo cups, and whatever else you and your bros want for the big night? Add cleaning supplies to that supply run, and you’ll be a significantly happier person the next day. Think paper towels, extra trash bags, Swiffer stuff, Clorox wipes, a metric ton of febreeze…you get the picture. You might feel like a loser when you’re shopping, but believe us, your hangover will thank you the next day.
So. Now you know the secret to not hating yourself the morning after throwing an enormous party. What the hell are you waiting for bro? Next party’s at your place!
Posted 1 year ago at 2:53 pm. Add a comment
If you’re serious about playing beer pong as a sport and not just as a game to get wasted at parties, you’ll want to start looking at ways to improve your performance. Other athletes in other sports think about things like how their shoes affect their performance, and it’s high time that, as legitimate athletes, beer pong players should do the same. Here are some of the things to think about when you’re looking at shoes in which to play beer pong.
If you’re really serious about the game, you probably want to get yourself to a running store and choose your shoes with the same care you’d use in choosing shoes for a marathon. Do your feet tend to pronate your feet, or do you roll them outwards? Which part of your foot absorbs most of the shock when you jump vertically to score that epic point? Investing in good running shoes tells the world that you’re seriously hardcore when it comes to your chosen sport.
Sneakers are great, but sometimes it’s hot out. Sometimes you’re at the beach. Sometimes you just really don’t want to wear sneakers. It’s okay. Sporty sandals are your friends. Pick a pair that you could go hiking in, a pair for running, jumping, and climbing trees. They might not be quite as hardcore as sneakers, but high-tech sandals can still give you that competitive edge.
- Glove shoes
Love them or hate them, the glove shoes with the individually articulated toes do have some distinct advantages when it comes to sports. They give your feet their full range of motion, making it easier to run, jump, and land. You get the au naturel feeling of being barefoot without having to worry about stepping on nails, broken glass, or whatever nastiness is on the floor at 2am during a frat party. The jury is out on how hardcore these toe shoes are, but as long as whatever you wear on your feet comes from a pure place of wanting to be all that you can be at the pong table, that’s hardcore enough for us here.
What are your favorite shoes for playing beer pong? Tell us here!
Posted 1 year, 12 months ago at 11:19 am. 7 comments
You know that feeling, when you’re at a karaoke bar and can’t for the life of you figure out a single song that your group can manage to perform? Never fear, here’s a list of the top five karaoke songs for you and your buddies to belt out at the top of your lungs (and get the rest of the bar to join in)!
1. Journey—Don’t Stop Believin’
You know it, “it goes on and on and on and on”…It’s infectious, a rock anthem, and everyone knows it. Great for pretty much any point in the evening, on any given night out.
2. Bohemian Rhapsody—Queen
This song is a huge classic– everybody knows it but very few people actually know all the words. Test which of your friends can actually do the “scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango” section without tripping over the words—then buy them another beer so they won’t be able to replicate the feat.
3. Celebration—Kool & the Gang
This is the ultimate song for the big party, whether it’s your graduation, your best friend’s wedding, or just your best friend’s 21st birthday (for the 3rd or 4th time). “Cel-e-brate good times, come on!” Sing it midway through the evening, when everyone’s feeling great and the party is rocking on.
This is the song when you’re just drunk enough that you think singing group karaoke to a potential love interest is a really good idea. “Because maybe (maybe)…You’re gonna be the one that saves me (saves me)…” As long as you don’t actually announce that you’re dedicating the song to someone specific, you’re fine.
5. Friends in Low Places—Garth Brooks
This is the song for the end of the night, when you’re totally sloshed and thoroughly enjoying the fact that you’ve gone “down to the O-oasis!” Best sung when you’re all at the point of drunkenness that everyone in your general vicinity is your best friend and you can sway together with your bottles held aloft.
So there you have it: instant inspiration. Go forth and lift your bottles and voices in song!
Posted 2 years, 2 months ago at 10:35 am. 1 comment