Sex & Beer Pong. 2 of America’s Favorite Activities
Ever wonder what the similarities are between your two favorite activities? Look no farther: the answers are here.
1.) Playing with Balls
Let’s start with the obvious: you’re sending your balls towards holes. We’ll leave out the obvious quibble about how in one activity your balls go in the holes and in the other your balls are near the holes because other things are actually inside…the analogy is close enough to allow for a hell of a lot of innuendo, which anyone but the densest bro instinctively understands.
2.) Going all Night Long
A man who’s truly dedicated to his game can play beer pong all night long. If you get tired out early on in the evening, it’s time to start working on your stamina!
3.) Fingering and blowing
Traditionally in beer pong, if a ball is spinning around the edge of a cup, girls are allowed to try to blow the ball into the cup, and guys are allowed to try to flick it in with their fingers. Girls blow and guys finger….we won’t insult your intelligence by spelling out the analogy here.
4.) The amount you talk about scoring…is inversely proportional to how often you actually score.
This one’s a no-brainer, courtesy of Psych 101. The more a bro talks about what great game he has, the more likely he is to be overcompensating. Do with this info what you will.
5.) Single partners, group games, and serial monogamy (oh my)
You can play beer pong with one other person…or you can play two on two, three on three, four on four… You can also play one on one sequentially with multiple different people. As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, it’s all good!
Anyone else have any good comparisons? Leave them in the comments!
Posted 4 months, 1 week ago at 4:08 pm. 7 comments
Romantic beer pong is way better than chocolates and flowers
Most of the time, when people think about romance, they think about wine and chocolate and flowers. Those things are alright, but we all know what’s better: beer! Unfortunately, under normal circumstances, your girlfriend might not agree. Here are the top five ways to make her change her mind.
- Craft beer tastings
If your girlfriend isn’t that crazy about beer, taking her to a craft beer tasting could be just the thing for a romantic day out. Find a brewery in your area and call ahead to make the arrangements, then surprise her with roses and a special tasting to find out exactly which brews she likes.
- Romantic picnic
What could be better than a romantic picnic? A romantic picnic with really nice beer! Try a lambic or similarly fancy import to impress her, and make sure the picnic is full of all her favorite foods. Find a nice spot outdoors, or have a picnic on your living room floor…just be creative and have fun!
- Beer in a champagne bottle
Part of what your girlfriend likes about champagne is that it involves a bit of ceremony: you have the untwisting of the wire, the popping of the cork, the pouring of fresh bubbly into champagne flutes…Nowadays, though, there are fancy beers that come in champagne bottles, meaning that you can have the same amount of pomp and ceremony with something that you actually want to drink.
- Beer brewed with chocolate
We all know that chocolate is one of the main things that women want in life. But did you know that there are actually beers brewed with chocolate? Find one and give it to her, along with a box of actual chocolates, and the beer romance factor goes basically off the charts.
- Beer cocktails
Sometimes, only a fancy cocktail will do. Fortunately, there are beer cocktails that can be classy and romantic, like a Black and Red or a Black Velvet.
Whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day, a birthday, an anniversary, or just a day that your girlfriend really wants to be romantic, you now know five different ways to incorporate your favorite beverage into whatever you do.
Posted 6 months, 2 weeks ago at 11:12 am. Add a comment
If you’re serious about playing beer pong as a sport and not just as a game to get wasted at parties, you’ll want to start looking at ways to improve your performance. Other athletes in other sports think about things like how their shoes affect their performance, and it’s high time that, as legitimate athletes, beer pong players should do the same. Here are some of the things to think about when you’re looking at shoes in which to play beer pong.
If you’re really serious about the game, you probably want to get yourself to a running store and choose your shoes with the same care you’d use in choosing shoes for a marathon. Do your feet tend to pronate your feet, or do you roll them outwards? Which part of your foot absorbs most of the shock when you jump vertically to score that epic point? Investing in good running shoes tells the world that you’re seriously hardcore when it comes to your chosen sport.
Sneakers are great, but sometimes it’s hot out. Sometimes you’re at the beach. Sometimes you just really don’t want to wear sneakers. It’s okay. Sporty sandals are your friends. Pick a pair that you could go hiking in, a pair for running, jumping, and climbing trees. They might not be quite as hardcore as sneakers, but high-tech sandals can still give you that competitive edge.
- Glove shoes
Love them or hate them, the glove shoes with the individually articulated toes do have some distinct advantages when it comes to sports. They give your feet their full range of motion, making it easier to run, jump, and land. You get the au naturel feeling of being barefoot without having to worry about stepping on nails, broken glass, or whatever nastiness is on the floor at 2am during a frat party. The jury is out on how hardcore these toe shoes are, but as long as whatever you wear on your feet comes from a pure place of wanting to be all that you can be at the pong table, that’s hardcore enough for us here.
What are your favorite shoes for playing beer pong? Tell us here!
Posted 10 months, 2 weeks ago at 11:19 am. 7 comments
The recent heat waves in California caused a 3 hour power outage last week and got us thinking…what do we do to entertain ourselves if the power goes out??
You can always play beer pong on a Party Pong Table with new Glow Lights. DON’T play pong or any other game involving moving objects by candlelight—the reasons for that should be pretty obvious. But as long as you’ve got a crowd and all the necessary equipment, go for it! It will make a great story to share with your friends who were less well-prepared and spent powerless hours draining their smartphone batteries by obsessively checking the department of water and power’s website. Take photos and earn bragging rights when you finally have Facebook again.
If you’re not fortunate enough to have your Party Pong table nearby when the lights go out, or you lack non-flammable light sources, never fear. There are plenty of games you can play with no light—the best ones are throwbacks to being thirteen at summer camp. Truth or Dare? Truths get racier the more drunk you get, and dares get more ridiculous. Go to a professor’s office hours in your boxers! Ask someone out while standing on your head! Dares can also wait until the power comes back on to execute, which gives you plenty of anticipation points to help you pass the evening. Variations can also include tales of your exploits from ages past—swap stories about the crazy things you did when you actually were thirteen at summer camp, and take a drink every time someone says “camping,” “hot counselor,” “saddle sores,” or “poison ivy.”
If none of those work for you, there’s always the tried-and-true pastime of singing drinking songs. Think beyond “99 Bottles of Beer”—you can turn “Old Mac Donald” into a dirty drinking song if you’re sufficiently creative about it. And the drunker you get, the more inventive your lyrics will be. If you’re not too drunk to hold a pencil, write your songs down for posterity, and do a dramatic reading of them next time you’re sober.
Obviously, this list is not exhaustive. Comment and let us know what you would do if the power goes out!
Posted 11 months, 1 week ago at 5:50 pm. 13 comments
“What’s beer pong?”, you ask? Or that’s what you’re afraid to ask. Well fear not, because we’ve made this quick guide for you to understand the game and become a beer pong champ. Note that there are many variations to the game and different house rules for the cup penalties, so be sure to check with the hosts before you start. But here are the basics of this magnificent game to get you started. And remember, practice makes perfect.
Posted 12 months ago at 3:23 pm. Add a comment
Oktoberfest is a 16-day festival celebrating beer held annually in Munich, Bavaria, Germany, running from late September to the first weekend in October. Even though the “official” Oktoberfest celebration might be over, we’re pretty sure that with a name like “Oktoberfest” it’s entirely reasonable to celebrate for the entire month of October. For that reason, here’s a list of four things that you should definitely NOT do to celebrate this month of German booze.
- Drink any kind of beer other than Oktoberfest Beer
Dude, it’s tradition! Who are you to argue? You can’t drink the normal stuff in October, that’s sacrilege! In fact, you should really try every kind of Oktoberfest beer that you can find. It’s cultural research! You could probably use your data on different Oktoberfest Beers for some kind of paper!
- Wear Lederhosen
Yeah, that whole tradition thing? Keep it for the beer. No one actually wears lederhosen anymore. If they do, they’re probably a) actually from Bavaria, and b) dressed up for a special event. In other world, it’s a costume. You probably already have other costume plans for Halloween.
- Give a speech in a language you think might be German
They say that you always speak foreign languages better when drunk, but your year of high school German probably didn’t prepare you to stand on a table and wax eloquent about beer, October, German traditions, German beer, lederhosen, and anything else that strikes you as inspirational after your sixth pint. If you’re going to stand on a table and make a speech while drunk, it should probably be in English.
- Grope a barmaid
She might be wearing a cute dirndl, and that cleavage may look luscious, but if she’s capable of carrying multiple pint glasses in one hand (which to be serving during Oktoberfest she almost certainly is), then she probably also has a mean right hook. Pretty barmaids who could kick your ass? Also a German tradition.
While there are probably other things that you shouldn’t do to celebrate Oktoberfest, this list covers the biggies. For the others…well…go out and discover them!
Posted 1 year ago at 5:48 pm. 16 comments
You know that feeling, when you’re at a karaoke bar and can’t for the life of you figure out a single song that your group can manage to perform? Never fear, here’s a list of the top five karaoke songs for you and your buddies to belt out at the top of your lungs (and get the rest of the bar to join in)!
1. Journey—Don’t Stop Believin’
You know it, “it goes on and on and on and on”…It’s infectious, a rock anthem, and everyone knows it. Great for pretty much any point in the evening, on any given night out.
2. Bohemian Rhapsody—Queen
This song is a huge classic– everybody knows it but very few people actually know all the words. Test which of your friends can actually do the “scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango” section without tripping over the words—then buy them another beer so they won’t be able to replicate the feat.
3. Celebration—Kool & the Gang
This is the ultimate song for the big party, whether it’s your graduation, your best friend’s wedding, or just your best friend’s 21st birthday (for the 3rd or 4th time). “Cel-e-brate good times, come on!” Sing it midway through the evening, when everyone’s feeling great and the party is rocking on.
This is the song when you’re just drunk enough that you think singing group karaoke to a potential love interest is a really good idea. “Because maybe (maybe)…You’re gonna be the one that saves me (saves me)…” As long as you don’t actually announce that you’re dedicating the song to someone specific, you’re fine.
5. Friends in Low Places—Garth Brooks
This is the song for the end of the night, when you’re totally sloshed and thoroughly enjoying the fact that you’ve gone “down to the O-oasis!” Best sung when you’re all at the point of drunkenness that everyone in your general vicinity is your best friend and you can sway together with your bottles held aloft.
So there you have it: instant inspiration. Go forth and lift your bottles and voices in song!
Posted 1 year, 1 month ago at 10:35 am. 1 comment
As Halloween approaches, you’ll want to make your parties Halloween themed without succumbing to cheesy trick-or-treat type gimmicks. One solution? Take your classic beer pong and turn it into pumpkin pong. This is a labor-intensive adaptation of the game, so you’ll want to give yourself plenty of time and maybe enlist a friend or two to help.
You’ll need a minimum of 20 small pumpkins, one for each of the cups you would normally use for a regular game. Given that things can get knocked over, and in the presence of drunk people accidents are likely, you’ll probably want to have at least 5 extra pumpkins on hand. Maybe more, if your friends are klutzes.
Take however many pumpkins you’ve decided on using, cut off the tops, and scoop out the insides like you’re making a jack-o-lantern. If you’re really ambitious, you can save and roast the seeds to snack on during the party. Once the pumpkin innards are clean, keep the pumpkin shells in the refrigerator until they’re ready to be used.
When gametime comes, set up the hollowed-out pumpkins and fill them with beer, just like you would for a normal tournament, and play just like you normally would. Once you’re finished, feast on roasted pumpkin seeds and Halloween candy, and congratulate yourself and your friends on giving your favorite holiday from when you were five a truly grown-up twist.
Posted 1 year, 9 months ago at 5:49 pm. Add a comment
So, you have this friend who doesn’t drink because they “don’t like beer” or haven’t tried one they like yet. Here are a few suggestions to get them started.
1. Blue moon
These guys make a great Belgian White that’s a great place to start for people who are new to the beer world. Made with a hint of orange, its nice, light flavor is given depth by the fact that it’s unfiltered. All in all, a perfect place to start.
You see it advertised everywhere, and it’s drunk in more than 80 countries around the world. Who are you to argue with people in 80 countries? It’s a good light lager, available almost anywhere.
This is another Belgian wheat ale that’s unique because it’s double-fermented: top fermented and then re-fermented in the bottle. This process gives it a unique cloudy-white appearance. Its flavor is sweet with a bit of bitterness and spice, and is a great drink for a hot summer day.
During the fall, pumpkin ales come out in force. The flavors of cinnamon and nutmeg appeal to most people and make pumpkin beers seem warm and comforting with the onset of cold weather. Plenty of people get started with pumpkin beer, then hunt furiously for something to replace it once the season’s done.
The classic dark beer from Ireland. If the lighter beers aren’t your friends’ thing, try them of a Guinness and see how they react. It has a strong flavor of roasted malt and a creamy texture, and like Hoegarden it’s drunk in more than 80 countries worldwide. It’s always better on tap than in a bottle, and die-hard fans will rhapsodize about this fact.
This set is a great go-to for beers that will make a good introduction to the beer-drinking universe. And once a person’s found a single beer they like, they’ll be ready to bring a six-pack and join the party.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago at 4:27 pm. 16 comments
Athletic drinking: perhaps you thought you were alone, beer pong fans, but hark! a “drinking group with a running problem”. What?!? Sounds too good to be true. But across the globe the Hash House Harriers, or H3, are out in full force. They’re like fraternities/sororities of silliness and fitness for adults of all kinds. The Constitution, dating back to 1950, states the group is meant to, “promote physical fitness among our members, to get rid of weekend hangovers, to acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer.” And the Nobel goes to…
The ratio of exercise to drinking varies from chapter to chapter; most chapters have both runners and walkers.The level of social acceptability also varies; some are family friendly while others go out of their way to be as lewd or politically incorrect as possible.
Seems like this could get out of hand really fast but there’s a method to the madness. Each chapter has their own traditions but generally once a week one member, or hare, sets a trail with chalk or flour with different signs or markings signifying a false trail, a backtrack, a shortcut, or a turn. In addition to the tricks, several types of “checks” are also used- most commonly a beer check- to keep the hound–the other members–together by slowing down front runners and giving everyone a chance to regroup and socialize. Among the popular jargon between hashers the most common phrase- and perhaps most important- is “On-on!” shouted to let other members of the hound know they are still on the trail.
Want to join a hash? Look up your local group! Don’t be intimidated: all the local traditions and markings will be explained to you at the “chalk talk” before the hash. But do beware of the “down-down” used for both positive and negative recognition of a hasher requiring the member in question to finish the entire remaining contents of his/her beverage without interruption or else it will be poured on your head. But you beer pong lovers can handle that, right? So go work off that beer gut with the Hash House Harriers and invite your hound back to your place for some beer pong afterwards.
Posted 1 year, 11 months ago at 11:15 am. Add a comment